You Know You Are Old When - Sunday 3/8/09

I think that Life is funny. Then again, I always find the funny in every situation. I think it has everything to do with losing most of my childhood. I started becoming a child (again) in my mid-30s. This was when I quit taking everything for granted and started looking introspectively for what I AM and NOT what I'm not.

I can only surmise that life is designed to be this way. Why is it when the children, that you have spent your entire adult life raising, have grown and moved out that women tend to falter looking for a purpose? Maybe because we have always had a purpose? Men have too, but they tend to have the ability to let that go and begin to really "live life." Thus, the so-called-midlife-crisis. I think Moms have a midlife crisis in their own right OR at least I am.

For the first time in my life I feel old. Anyone that knows me knows that I tend to be a complete immature goofball. I am the quick-witted-find-everything-funny-in the moment kind of person. I can be and am serious when the situation calls for it, but people are too serious. Most people will never describe me in that way. My kids are always telling me to grow up...even though I think they know better by now.

I know that I'm old when I'm looking for ways to feel younger. It was never such a chore before. These are reasons I feel old:

• I'm reaching out to people that I haven't talked to in almost 25 years.
• I'm seeing the world through different lenses. It isn't 6 degrees of separation, everyone is connected.
• I'm beginning to understand that the faults I have are becoming strengths.
• I want to be impassioned to make a difference in the world.
• I'm planning my will. WTF?
• I understand that my children and career have shaped my self-worth and value. My children are gone and now I think I need to let go of the current job I have. That IS the only way I will know my own true worth
• I contemplate a lot of my childhood memories and think of the people that have passed.

I could go on and on, but I just wanted to make a statement that we are here for a short time and I want my time to count for something. That's why I know I'm getting old. :)

Dear Editor - A Walk In Time - Wednesday 10/15/08

*Author's Note: I was recently going through my personal documents and found this letter. I submitted this to Management over 5 years ago in the hopes that it would be included in the official ITS Newsletter. IT Leadership had been asking for submissions for future content. IT took me 3 weeks, 8 drafts, and a lot of guts to turn this in. Three days after my submission, I was informed that the Newsletter had been officially retired. Coincidence? I think not.

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Letter to the Editor
04/18/2003

Dear Editor,


I admit it. My mind has been in the desert. Prior to March 20th, everything seemed quite normal. I went to work and I went home. I went to work and I went home. I had a problem. Work had become a daily battle and I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit it. Each one of us has experienced the feeling of being held hostage in the enemy camp, or on guard (with our arms drawn) against an attack, or feeling generally unmotivated to perform our job well. Everyone has bad days, but my bad days were coming day after day. The bad days were reflected in my motivation, determination, and loyalty.


One night, while watching the news-before our troops moved into Baghdad-it was reported that General Franks was leader-in-command of the largest military operation in U.S. history. General Franks and Central Command had some major obstacles to overcome in order to make good tactical decisions. He needed good communication, flexibility, men/women dedicated to the cause, and high morale. Without just one of these, the operation would most certainly fail. I thought to myself, “He’s never going to pull this thing off.” You have to be amazed at the enormity of this operation. If General Franks could lead 250,000 troops into insurmountable danger and succeed, then why can’t the ITS Department do the same?


Central Command has the ability to communicate by 2-way radio with troops across an area the size of California. Yet, we have difficulty communicating with each other and we are armed with telephones, intercoms, email, pagers, cell phones, and alpha pagers. Most, if not all, ITS staff recognizes this as a problem, but each team member, including Management, should be responsible to disseminate vital information to the troops in the field. Each person has experienced aggravation and frustration, so help out your fellow employee and lend some info. It’s not what you say; it’s what you don’t say.


General Frank’s plan must include a certain level of flexibility. Webster’s definition for flexibility is “characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing requirements”. That’s it in a nutshell. It is important to work toward a goal or follow the strategic plan that has been decided. Consider it a blueprint, if you will. I want to build a house, so I hire a contractor to build the house by my blueprint. Does this mean that the house will be built to perfect specification? No, probably not. We must have the ability to be flexible knowing that we can’t plan for everything. We should approach a project or a situation by the plan that was set forth, but have the ability to respond to a situation with a solution, without it bringing us to our knees. Like in Iraq, we must have a degree of flexibility.


Finally, here’s the meat of it: morale. When I listen to the news, I hear over and over, “The operation is difficult, but the morale is high.” Well, our operation is difficult and I find that our morale is low. Morale and dedication go hand-in-hand like bread and water. Morale is basically how we feel about our purpose for the present and for the future. How can we feel defeat and discouragement and be devoted to do it again tomorrow? It’s hard…but, each one of us has to pick up, dust off, and trust that it will be better tomorrow. Dear Management, we can’t do that alone. Give some praise, trust your employees, and inspire us. You might like what you see.


~Kris Smith, ITS