Concours means "old" - Sunday 3/15/09

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to visit the 2009 Amelia Island Concours d'Elegance at the Ritz Carlton on Amelia Island. Funny thing is that this renowned car show has been occurring on Amelia Island since 1996. I've lived there since 1990, but sometimes you have to leave before you can appreciate what was in your own backyard! I never realized how much I love classic (a/k/a old) cars until last week. I'm a Libra..and so being...I like anything exquisite, beautiful, classic, stunning, and appealing to the discriminating eye. I walked around looking at all the classic automobiles. I'm also a history buff, so just ot be in the presence of unique and special vehicles was an understatement. Think of all the history each one of these special classics have seen. World War I? The Roaring 20's? The Great Depression? World War II? Korea? Post-Kennedy assasination? Vietnam?

Each Car Class presented a unique look into the triumphs and tribulations of our nation. What we've experienced..what we've overcome. And the owners seem to be as enthusiastic and impassioned as we are with our iPods, our Wii's and our wireless connections. These things aren't so beautiful, but maybe our great-grandchildren will visit a unique show that displays our passion.

For me? These cars are a direct relationship with our parents, grandparents, and personal history. I'm going to make every effort to follow these personal collections to Miami Concours or the Desert Concours. Want to join me?

10 Places I Don't Like To Be - Monday 3/9/09

I never noticed this phenomena before the divorce. Let me explain. It isn't the divorce that I care about..it was long overdue. What I miss is my children. I definitely notice these "family" moments now...these are the places I don't like to be:

1. The airport. Families are traveling to go on the yearly family vacation or visit extended family.
2. The mall. Mothers taking their children out to spend a day of shopping or just strolling and window shopping.
3. The grocery store. Enough said...I stand in the checkout line alone checking out my 5 items while I wait for the $300 grocery checkout. Until now, I didn't realize planning a meal was such a family event.
4. The amusement park. This is probably the worst scenario...I'm with my boyfriend (which isn't bad), but I used to be one of those Mothers that had a line of kids..and telling them, "Get down...sit still...quit bothering your sister." That was me and I miss it.
5. The park. There is no worse place to visit if you're single. Everyone is there with their family. I used to think it was a chore, but now I miss the experience.
6. The neighborhood family restaurant. I used to be "one of those"... I was the mother that used to drag her children into the family dining establishment to teach them social and table manners. Now, I'm there as a patron. I don't like that kids ruin everyone's dining experience, but I do miss the intentions.
7. The county fair. I went for the first time in 10 years. It was actually boring, I didn't realize how fun kids make it.
8. The beach. I used to like to go to the beach, but now it's just me and my boyfriend. We just find a place to sit and watch everyone else having fun. I can't believe that I would miss getting messy helping my child build a sandcastle OR worry that a wave is going to take her down!
9. The road trip. I miss, "Mom, I have to go potty!"
10. The swimming pool. I really miss, "I DON'T WANNA GO. I DON'T WANNA GO. WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO?"

I didn't realize that I was absorbed in the responsibility and I didn't get it. I should have enjoyed the experience. I miss the experience. Now? I watch your families have the experience.

You Know You Are Old When - Sunday 3/8/09

I think that Life is funny. Then again, I always find the funny in every situation. I think it has everything to do with losing most of my childhood. I started becoming a child (again) in my mid-30s. This was when I quit taking everything for granted and started looking introspectively for what I AM and NOT what I'm not.

I can only surmise that life is designed to be this way. Why is it when the children, that you have spent your entire adult life raising, have grown and moved out that women tend to falter looking for a purpose? Maybe because we have always had a purpose? Men have too, but they tend to have the ability to let that go and begin to really "live life." Thus, the so-called-midlife-crisis. I think Moms have a midlife crisis in their own right OR at least I am.

For the first time in my life I feel old. Anyone that knows me knows that I tend to be a complete immature goofball. I am the quick-witted-find-everything-funny-in the moment kind of person. I can be and am serious when the situation calls for it, but people are too serious. Most people will never describe me in that way. My kids are always telling me to grow up...even though I think they know better by now.

I know that I'm old when I'm looking for ways to feel younger. It was never such a chore before. These are reasons I feel old:

• I'm reaching out to people that I haven't talked to in almost 25 years.
• I'm seeing the world through different lenses. It isn't 6 degrees of separation, everyone is connected.
• I'm beginning to understand that the faults I have are becoming strengths.
• I want to be impassioned to make a difference in the world.
• I'm planning my will. WTF?
• I understand that my children and career have shaped my self-worth and value. My children are gone and now I think I need to let go of the current job I have. That IS the only way I will know my own true worth
• I contemplate a lot of my childhood memories and think of the people that have passed.

I could go on and on, but I just wanted to make a statement that we are here for a short time and I want my time to count for something. That's why I know I'm getting old. :)

Inspired - Thursday 11/13/08

A *writer* friend of mine sent me a link to a writing contest. I think I have a great storyline, but there is a catch. What I want to write about is not fiction, but rather non-fiction. It's a true story about something that happened in my life. So, I ask her, "Can I write about something true and submit it as fiction?" She replies, "As you know, truth is stranger than fiction."

Long story short: I was burned when I was a child. I don't mean burned by a stove or a hot pot that was left to simmer too long. I mean an explosion that engulfed my body in flames. How would a child handle it? How would a Mother navigate unchartered waters on how to raise a child with disfiguring scars and circumvent the stares/biases in our society? It's a good baseline, but could I translate my story to a *small* audience OR could this story transcend to other bio lines (autism, epilepsy, paralysis, etc.) ? Thoughts would be much appreciated.

I'm counting on my "writer friends" to help me out here. ALL comments welcomed!

Six Things You Don't Know About Me - Wednesday 10/22/08

A Blogging Tag is going around. I haven't been tagged (because I'm new to the blogging realm), but I thought it was a neat idea, so I am going to add my personal info that you wouldn't know about me from reading my blog and then I'm going to tag a friend or two.

#1 - I was a gymnast. I actually competed in the United States Gymnastics Federation (USGF..renamed to USAG since then) for about 4 years. I actually made it to the State Finals once. Although I competed "All-Around", my specialities were Vault and Floor Exercise.

#2 - I ride horses. I've even owned a few in my lifetime. I started competing in Western Pleasure and Western Trail. I eventually learned English and Hunt Seat and loved jumping! My last horse was an off-the-track Thoroughbred racehorse. His racing name was Devious Diplomat, but I called him DeeVee. About 4 years ago, I traded in my horse for horsepower. I now only ride (in) a RX-8.

#3 - I play the piano. I started playing the piano when I was about 6 years old. I've competed in the International Federation of Pianists. I especially enjoy playing Jazz/Blues and Classical music.

#4 - I was accident prone as a child. I guess I was a risk-taker back in the day. It was not uncommon for people to see me to be in a full-leg cast (playing kickball)!

#5 - I love Nascar! Only a very few people know this about me. I don't like to admit this because people get the wrong idea of the type of person I am. I am NOT a redneck...but I have a secret desire for a need for speed. I'm a Risk Analyst, so this is my outlet. I don't have a problem when 42 other people drive almost 200 miles per hour!

#6 - If I could go back in time and redo my life, I would want to be a Volcanologist or Geologist. I am completely addicted to weather, climate, and earth changes. How many people do you know have alerts sent to their BlackBerry for earthquakes, tsunamis, and sink holes? I live in Florida, where there are absolutely NO fault lines! I guess the good thing is I don't receive alot of alerts.

Dear Editor - A Walk In Time - Wednesday 10/15/08

*Author's Note: I was recently going through my personal documents and found this letter. I submitted this to Management over 5 years ago in the hopes that it would be included in the official ITS Newsletter. IT Leadership had been asking for submissions for future content. IT took me 3 weeks, 8 drafts, and a lot of guts to turn this in. Three days after my submission, I was informed that the Newsletter had been officially retired. Coincidence? I think not.

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Letter to the Editor
04/18/2003

Dear Editor,


I admit it. My mind has been in the desert. Prior to March 20th, everything seemed quite normal. I went to work and I went home. I went to work and I went home. I had a problem. Work had become a daily battle and I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit it. Each one of us has experienced the feeling of being held hostage in the enemy camp, or on guard (with our arms drawn) against an attack, or feeling generally unmotivated to perform our job well. Everyone has bad days, but my bad days were coming day after day. The bad days were reflected in my motivation, determination, and loyalty.


One night, while watching the news-before our troops moved into Baghdad-it was reported that General Franks was leader-in-command of the largest military operation in U.S. history. General Franks and Central Command had some major obstacles to overcome in order to make good tactical decisions. He needed good communication, flexibility, men/women dedicated to the cause, and high morale. Without just one of these, the operation would most certainly fail. I thought to myself, “He’s never going to pull this thing off.” You have to be amazed at the enormity of this operation. If General Franks could lead 250,000 troops into insurmountable danger and succeed, then why can’t the ITS Department do the same?


Central Command has the ability to communicate by 2-way radio with troops across an area the size of California. Yet, we have difficulty communicating with each other and we are armed with telephones, intercoms, email, pagers, cell phones, and alpha pagers. Most, if not all, ITS staff recognizes this as a problem, but each team member, including Management, should be responsible to disseminate vital information to the troops in the field. Each person has experienced aggravation and frustration, so help out your fellow employee and lend some info. It’s not what you say; it’s what you don’t say.


General Frank’s plan must include a certain level of flexibility. Webster’s definition for flexibility is “characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing requirements”. That’s it in a nutshell. It is important to work toward a goal or follow the strategic plan that has been decided. Consider it a blueprint, if you will. I want to build a house, so I hire a contractor to build the house by my blueprint. Does this mean that the house will be built to perfect specification? No, probably not. We must have the ability to be flexible knowing that we can’t plan for everything. We should approach a project or a situation by the plan that was set forth, but have the ability to respond to a situation with a solution, without it bringing us to our knees. Like in Iraq, we must have a degree of flexibility.


Finally, here’s the meat of it: morale. When I listen to the news, I hear over and over, “The operation is difficult, but the morale is high.” Well, our operation is difficult and I find that our morale is low. Morale and dedication go hand-in-hand like bread and water. Morale is basically how we feel about our purpose for the present and for the future. How can we feel defeat and discouragement and be devoted to do it again tomorrow? It’s hard…but, each one of us has to pick up, dust off, and trust that it will be better tomorrow. Dear Management, we can’t do that alone. Give some praise, trust your employees, and inspire us. You might like what you see.


~Kris Smith, ITS

I've Found A New Drug - Tuesday 10/12/08

Recently, I was once again reminded of how really far I've come. This is a picture (small and ugly as it is) taken of me a little over a year and a half ago. This night was an especially emotional one for me. I had recently separated from my ex-husband and this was the night that "Princess Pooh" and I had reunited. It's still difficult for me to look at this photo, because it reminds me just how emotionally raw I was. My spirit was broken. My heart was broken. At the least, I felt lonely, rejected, and afraid. I definitely couldn't see the "light at the end of the tunnel." I felt completely exposed and desperate. I was trying to understand what went wrong. I needed to know it wasn't "all my fault." I needed to know that I was still loveable, even valuable. Yet, this night, I felt completely unloved, unwanted, and hopeless. I felt like a failure as a wife, mother, and human being. I was torturing myself.


It's amazing how time truly heals. Like I said, it really is difficult for me to look at this picture (my kids want me to get rid of it, but I need to keep it for gauging sake), because I barely recognize this person. I recognize the pooch! That's why I know it's me! :-) Pooh and I took it one day at a time. During those difficult times, Pooh was my only diversion. I would go home after a long day at work and we would take long walks around the pond. Some nights we would sit on the bank and feed the ducks and other nights we would sit under the gazebo and look out at the dark water. We'd "talk" ... or, rather, I would talk to her about my thoughts. It was the only form of therapy I had.


That was 1 year and 7 months ago. Today, I feel like a different person. This is not to say that I don't have problems, worries, insecurities, or issues. But, it's how I "feel" about myself. Instead of torturing myself and living in a House of Mirrors, I've learned that I am unique! I shouldn't have to say, "I'm sorry" for everything that happens. I'm not responsible for everything. I have depth, value, compassion, passion, intelligence, and loyalty. I will always have things to work on, but that makes me NO different from anyone else in this world. What makes me a little different is that, at the least, I am continually working to improve myself. This isn't to say that I think there is a "Laundry List" of things to fix, but I enjoy spiritual and mental growth. How many people actually occupy space on this planet that refuse to acknowledge that they should try and change the way they do things (i.e., how we treat people, how we are available to people, how we can be more polite and/or unassuming).


To cite Huey Lewis, "I've Found A New Drug." My drug of choice is self-love: Falling in love with the person I am NOW, sustaining happiness, and developing this very complex character called TeddyB!