I can only surmise that life is designed to be this way. Why is it when the children, that you have spent your entire adult life raising, have grown and moved out that women tend to falter looking for a purpose? Maybe because we have always had a purpose? Men have too, but they tend to have the ability to let that go and begin to really "live life." Thus, the so-called-midlife-crisis. I think Moms have a midlife crisis in their own right OR at least I am.
For the first time in my life I feel old. Anyone that knows me knows that I tend to be a complete immature goofball. I am the quick-witted-find-everything-funny-in the moment kind of person. I can be and am serious when the situation calls for it, but people are too serious. Most people will never describe me in that way. My kids are always telling me to grow up...even though I think they know better by now.
I know that I'm old when I'm looking for ways to feel younger. It was never such a chore before. These are reasons I feel old:
- I'm reaching out to people that I haven't talked to in almost 25 years.
- I'm seeing the world through different lenses. It isn't 6 degrees of separation, everyone is connected.
- I'm beginning to understand that the faults I have are becoming strengths.
- I want to be impassioned to make a difference in the world.
- I'm planning my will. WTF?
- I understand that my children and career have shaped my self-worth and value. My children are gone and now I think I need to let go of the current job I have. That IS the only way I will know my own true worth
- I contemplate a lot of my childhood memories and think of the people that have passed.
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